We have looked at why men would not want to commit themselves
to a relationship. However, the story does not end there. Some Sisters truly
have reasons to hold on tightly to their dear hearts, irrespective of any
efforts by the men in their lives to get them to surrender.
It is easy to say that men are heart breakers, because they
take the final decision most times, and funny enough, heart - broken men don’t
cry or spread the bad news for sake of their pride. But there are also instances where Ladies have
left a brother hanging like a ripe mango fruit ready to splash on the ground.
How could this happen?
1.
The guy does not appear to be financially or
materially capable. Ladies will always say “I don’t want to suffer with any man”.
Fair enough, if they wait long enough, the guy with the right account balance
may just come along. Problem comes if
such rich dude does not show up, the Lady may have to eventually suffer alone.
You can even marry a rich dude only to realize that the price to pay for the
riches is even harder. Have you not heard of rich, lonely and frustrated wives?
2.
When he is not your fantasy type of man. Ladies
have this picture of a man, perfect body parts and shape, good height, good
carriage and manners and all kinds of ideals. Dearie, have you heard that what
is good for the goose is also good for the gander? Do you have all those stuff men
want in the right proportion? Even if you do, what makes you think that you are
entitled to get same in your spouse? I see many people letting go a potentially
good partner for lack of some body parts in the right shape, size or
proportion, only to get to the next person (who has those stuff in abundance),
only to be dumped for lacking in some parts too!! Funny, but real. Even if you
do get everything, I mean, everything, don’t forget that some of these physical
attributes wear off with time, what will you do when the fantasy expires?
3.
Religious considerations. Some Ladies will say
No to a guy because he does not attend same church/mosque with her. You should
be more concerned about the status of his spiritual life and convictions than
on the name of his denomination/sect. When it comes to marriage, we still do not
distinguish religion from spirituality, many are deeply religious but no atom
of spirituality can be found in them. Some
guy can propose to you from same church, and he does not believe anything that
is being taught in that congregation.
4.
Tribal and racial sentiments. I truly appreciate
that it is extremely difficult to marry outside your culture in some instances.
This is where parents become principalities. However, the world has since moved on. All the
distance and communication barriers that previously made parents to be scared
of letting their children marry outside their tribe or race have been
eradicated. Please do not be left behind.
5.
Too many options (Prime Time Syndrome). At your
peak as a Lady, you just would have the world at your feet; everyone wants you
for a date. Do not be deceived, it is a phase, make the best use of it, it will
soon move to the next girl. If you are in your Prime Time, please make sure you
get married before the effect wanes. So many Ladies that are now saying that
men are not ready to marry once had their prime time, and wasted it, now their
younger sisters are getting married.
I believe the reason you are not yet married, or why you
keep seeing men as not capable of marrying you is now exposed. I will continue
to say it, no man or woman is fit and perfect, we are all flawed. This does not
mean you will not have a standard, but be real and be intelligent enough to
know what factors are still relevant and which one are extinct.
So many Ladies today are dating married men they once
rejected as suitors. They were not good enough until they found another woman
to marry them. Think about this and next time your man comes around, see the
MAN/HUSBAND in him before another woman does.
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