Graduation without an education. That is the best way to describe marriage without proper grooming and understanding of the requirements and expectations. Marriage is often times regarded as an institution where you are given a diploma on the day of matriculation. This will only work if the student do not abandon the programme after the graduation party (wedding). Unfortunately, this is mostly the case, freshmen getting diplomas and failing to continue with the programme with dire consequences. Imagine a Medical Doctor who stopped attending classes after matriculation working as Consultant in any hospital at all - disaster you will say.
How prepared were/are you for marriage? Or you think preparation is all about saving money for the event or making sure the gown, cake, reception venue and other details are top notch? I bet you most of us just believe that once we find someone we love, and he or she has a great job and propspects, then every other thing will work out. This is like saying that finding a good school is all you need to get education without actually attending classes and studying. It has been argued most convincingly that love alone is not enough. If love was enough, I believe there will never be divorce or any form of marital issues in the world, after all, everybody married someone they loved, I just cannot imagined that there are people that got married to someone they truly hate. The big question is, what happens to love? I can conveniently say, ignorance kills love faster than poison does to human life.
The very areas that constitute banana peels for married couples were not things we learnt in school or were taught by our parents. How do you learn patience and tolerance, how do you take frustrations from pre-marital expectations not met, how do you handle personal differences, how do you manage disagreements, what about conflicting interests and goals, what about the extended family and in laws, issues with career, money and Sex? These are huge areas where conscious efforts towards learning some skills can make a difference between a great marriage and a failed marital venture.
Whether you are married or not, decide to enter learning mode today, the result will amaze you. Nothing in life is perfect, including marriage. The more you learn, the more you master the craft.
