The Table of Men – Threat to Marriages?

The Table of Men, where men sit and rub minds is as old as manhood itself. Men have always found a spot in their environment to gather and discuss issues.

This gathering of men has been evolving over the years with civilization. From the traditional gathering over a calabash of fresh palm-wine or some bottles of local gin while women are doing the cooking, the table of men has been modernized and can be found in various exotic and some not so exotic spots in major cities. You will find men of all ages and social class trooping to these “relaxation zones” as night falls in major cities.

An escape to the table of men can provide a pleasant time-off from the rigours of the day’s job and businesses and provide a vital channel for expression. It is true that men do not talk as much as women, but the table of men provides a forum for men to engage themselves on issues ranging from politics, religion, career and most importantly relationships.

However, on the table of men, lies the virtue of many men. Evil communication in an appropriately conducive environment, sometimes under the influence of liquor has made many to take wrong steps that could jeopardize their marital relationships. There are men who only started drinking on the table of men, just to blend with the group. There are some men who take their marital problems to the table of men, only to receive wrong counsel. Many amorous affairs were born on the table of men, because we also find loose women hanging around these tables.

It is also true that some men frequent the table of men because the home front is not conducive. I will warn you Sir, the more you prolong your stay at the table of men to escape the un-resolved anger and resentment at home, the more the table of communion you should have at home is crumbling.

It is important also that women learn how to be a bit more self-less and deliberate in making the home environment conducive and friendly at all times. This does not mean your husband will be perfect, but showing him a little bit of mercy and tolerance will help a great deal. Just giving up Africa Magic, FTV or Food Channels for awhile while he indulges himself in the Premiership or La Liga can even do the magic.

Guys, while a little rendezvous with the boys every now and then will not hurt you, you need to watch the kind of company you sit around with and check the type of words and other stuff you allow to go into you. If you notice that your words, thoughts and actions are beginning to change, please it is time to quit the group. If you notice you are beginning to lose virtues, and you are becoming comfortable with things that are clearly wrong, please re-trace your steps.

Don’t forget that friends are admitted to the table of men, in most cases, on merit (job, money, class, education), if any of these should fail, you may find yourself on an empty table. Why not invest time in the most important and committed relationship you have – your partner. Be committed to building a relationship based on mutual respect and communication. If your spouse is your confidant, and you talk freely over issues, you may not need to stop over at the popular joint to gather at a potentially destructive table of men.