Realities of Marriage III

 

It is possible this whole reality of marriage thing is beginning to get on your nerves. Truly, I can identify with you because I understand how it feels, especially for those who are still aspiring to find their Mr or Miss Right. It must be very depressing being told that there is actually no such thing as Mr or Miss Right, we are all “damaged” by nature and only become manageable the grace of God. Even the best man of God is still a man. I am sorry, but let us say the truth and free our souls from condemnation and our destiny from bondage.
I have met several people in my lifetime who are walking around, not being able to fulfil their marital destiny because they feel God owe them some obligations to get married to someone that will guarantee them that feeling of having gotten it right 100%, the 10/10 thing.  No doubt, this is a good aspiration and I must confess some people do hit the target, yea, even though it may be for a while before it become clear that in life, storms and battles comes by nature, and they tend to change the equation somehow. Is this negative thinking? I don’t think so.

You can be the best thing that has happened to mankind, you may be the most prayerful woman around, you may even be that Lady that turned down all the juicy advances that would have given you temporary gains at the expense of your dignity,  does this guarantee that you meet a perfect man? Not really, I am sorry, we all deserve good things, but who is really the judge? We have established that we are all flawed one way or the other, even when we don’t know or cannot admit.

It should be noted that how you treat a bad situation can determine the final outcome. Marriage is work, I mean full time job requiring physical, emotional and spiritual investments. I know we all want "ready to drink" kind of juice from life, hey, someone has got to plant, groom, harvest and harness the fruits. If you pursue the perfection you can see at the moment, can you really guarantee the uncertain future? In real life, real things happen, people fall sick and get well, people make money and some lose money,  jobs come and jobs go, some beauty fade while some with rough edges can blossom, life is in a state of perpetual flux.  Marriage should be the culmination, I mean the crescendo of love, and love should be stronger than even death, love is sacrifice - it is not really availability of favourable conditions.
 
Many times, we make life impacting decisions based on temporary conditions coloured by false sense of entitlements motivated by selfish and mundane considerations. If marriage is based on commitment to serve and love, chances are that you may make decisions that is not 10/10, but deep down, you know you have taken giant steps in the right direction. If all you want is for marriage to “serve YOU”, you may as well continue to search for the ultimate man/woman who will come with all the promises he/she has no capacity to fulfil in the long run.

I want to advise, in choosing a mate, be the real you going into the relationship, and be realistic in your expectations of the other party, do not be stunned by the realities of marriage later in life.