Every action they say has an equivalent reaction. No wonder
the rise in divorce rates is also happening at a time when pre-marital
relationships have also assumed a dangerous dimension.
In our times, young people devote so much time to
relationships and do so much in such relationships that leaves them so
fragmented and devastated when things go wrong.
We find situations where people start looking for mates so
early in life and by the time they get to marriageable age, they might have
suffered so much emotional and physical abuse that what they take into marriage
is the “left over”. Such people may have challenges remaining committed to a
spouse over the long haul due to a pattern of variety and constant chase and
change of mates. Literally, by the time they get married, they are so weary
that love and marriage don’t make sense any more. Unfortunately, such people
still find people to get married to with their damaged heart condition. What
will happen to marriage with someone who is already tired of love, sex,
companionship and everything that makes marriage work? Infidelity is wrecking
homes today because couples (men and women) cannot just maintain focus on a
single partner for a long time. This is a sad and devastating situation.
The most critical is the fact
that most pre - marital relationships are just what it is, a phase that young
people go through, one or both of the individuals involved may not really have
any plan for the future. In this instance, you find such young people breaking
up and moving on with any slight discomfort, displeasure or change in
circumstances in the relationship. This “break
up and move on” cycle makes the singles’ life interesting, fun and full of
rich variety, however, it forms a bad habit most dangerous to marriage. Some
people are so good at it that by the time they get married; they would have
gone round the cycle so many times that it becomes so easy to execute, it’s all
about “walking away”! Do you wonder why many marriages are packing up within
one year? The answer is that the “break up and move on” cycle was carried into
marriage, so sad! They couple could not just endure the first set of arguments
and disagreements, the marriage automatically becomes a mistake which must be
corrected using the “break up and move on” therapy.
Many who used their bodies to
raise funds from different men on a continuous basis will also have challenges
coping with the challenge of depending on a single man for financial support in
marriage. Women in this category either resort to living miserably and
spreading same to the husband especially when he cannot meet up with her
unrealistic and inconsiderate financial demands or venture back to their pre-marital
philandering ways.
Whatever wrong relationship habits formed prior to marriage
either deliberately, due to ignorance or circumstances must be dealt with to
avoid marital disaster. Such habits may include multiple dating, online
flirting (virtual lovers), hit and run (use and dump), homosexuality, incest, using men or even women
as Teller machines (Mugu/Maga/Aristo) for round the clock financial comfort and
so many other negative behaviours. No matter the amount of efforts you put up
to make people (including your spouse) believe you are an angel that just dropped
from heaven, hiding these issues under your “holy garments” will only hurt you
the more. You cannot carry such garbage
into marriage and expect the marriage to work.
Deal with your pre-marital garbage fast before the stench
will destroy your matrimonial home. Singles should be careful of how they
accumulate destructive garbage and beware of prospective mates who are encumbered
with such destructive tendencies.
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