Panacea for Commitment – Phobia in Relationships

 

So many heartaches associated with pre-marital relationships have much to do with differences in objective, direction and timing of critical events in the relationship. Lots of very good relationships will fail when the individuals involved do not reconcile the intent and direction of the relationship. Most times, one person wants something the other is not even thinking about, leading to conflicts.

I know it is always a concern for the female folks to establish why a guy they feel has the requisite qualities for marriage will just be doing everything right in the relationship but will shy away from the most important one – marriage proposal.

It is true that many Ladies do not how to decipher the times. Life is in stages, and you need to understand what stage your man is before you decide to see him as future husband. I find it amusing to hear a Lady complaining that her boyfriend who is a student has not proposed after 5 years. It is good to fall in love, but such love must be unconditional. It is a hard choice, you cannot force a guy to truncate his life journey to get married to you – his time will come.

Sometimes, you can meet a guy that is correct in every way, but he has several steps he will like to take before marriage, it is your bit to seek out if he will still need you when he arrives at his desired destination, otherwise, say goodbye. It will be your fault to hang around assuming you are in the plan. Assumptions are deceptive in relationships.

However, there are other guys who are ready for marriage, but they just would not commit. What could be wrong? Let me attempt to look into the hearts of guys who are afraid of getting hooked;

1.       Uncertainty: This factor sounds like this, “Do I really want to do this?” The Lady may be the best thing on earth; it does not stop the guy from feeling a bit un-sure of the next phase of life;

 

2.       Poor sense of timing: Some guys just do not know the timing of life. Some feel their most youthful days should be best spent in riotous living and random sampling. They want to prolong this stage for as long as they can;

 

3.       Lack of conviction about the choice: We all know what we want. Ladies easily feel that a guy should just reciprocate their love – it doesn’t work that way babes. You don’t go into an eatery for the Sales Boy or Girl to tell you what to buy;

4.       Fear of losing Independence: If you are having a ball as a young man, especially those who are not used to the one man, one woman principle, the thought of marriage will scare you;

5.       Deeply rooted selfishness: Marriage is all about sharing. Some guys have taken stock and feel they are not ready to share just yet;

6.       Fear of making mistake with the choice: If there is no deeply rooted guidance, and armed with available multiple options, a man can really feel scared of getting it wrong;

7.       Effect of bad role models: A guy who has seen bad marriages from a close range will be afraid of going into one;

8.       Controllers in the background: For all you know, it may take some guys months and even years to negotiate with their parents on who and when to marry;

9.       Men on revenge mission: Some guys are actually on revenge mission, they failed to get over past heart breaks and now want to use their advantageous situation to torment Ladies;

10.   Unseen hands: Surprised that I said that? Trust me, for so many reasons, some men have lost control of their life’s timetable and agenda. Some things are not just normal.

Guys, what could be holding you back? Please search your heart, and make amends. Your solution may just lie in forgiving people in your past, thinking less of “YOU”, clearing your mind from negative thoughts of fear and wrong pictures of marriage, being the best you can be and giving your partner a chance to be human – after all, we all have come “short”, remember? Most importantly, you need to pray for divine guidance and direction.