A married man is found to be cheating on his wife, and we need to find someone to blame, who will be your most likely culprit? Or on the flip side, a wife has found pleasure in her colleague, boss or an old school mate, whose fault is it? Is it the cheat, the offended spouse, the third party, or is it the notorious devil, or even God himself?
Ladies and Gentlemen, Who should be blamed when a married man or woman becomes unfaithful to the vow and begin to swim in the murky waters of illicit relationships?
The problem of infidelity has become so endemic that it accounts for a larger percentage of the causes of divorce today, and its effect is not limited to any religion. People who cheat on their partners are from a wide range of creeds and beliefs including Pentecostals, charismatic, orthodox, and others.
Some will like to give reasons like childhood abuse, societal influence, peer pressure, mid-life crisis as the likely reasons why married men tend to become even more randy than single men today. However, apart from Tiger Woods who felt “entitled” to amassing a harem of sex partners, other men caught in the very act are always prompt in pointing fingers at their wives for allegedly not meeting their sexual needs or not having enough respect for their leadership. Women too easily lay blame on their husbands’ door steps when they fail to keep their vows of fidelity. Women easily claim their husbands are no longer romantic or loving, hence the need for them to find love, attention and romance somewhere else.
Life and society has become more complex as we evolve into a modern way of life. Husbands and wives now find themselves on the road most times and spend long hours at work. Even those who are not travelling Executives still have limited intimate moments due to the demand for time to meet up with career and personal development goals. It is even possible that couples can be right there at home together, but cannot connect due to pressures from within and without. This situation creates some kind of challenge for couples and reduces their ability to meet each other’s basic needs in the marriage.
Would you rather fall into an immoral affair in this circumstance instead of evaluating the cause of the problem and seeking solutions? Have you assessed the problem critically and see how you can offer remedies? Have you done enough to get your spouse to give you what you want yet? Have you discussed the issues to see where your expectations are either abnormal or unattainable? Are you sure where you are heading to will give you that satisfaction over time? Is the price of your inappropriate behaviours worth it?
Back to the main issue, a man was recently found to be chronically involved in multiple marriages, and all he could do was to blame each and every woman he has been with for the collapse of the relationships. How come in each case, he was always the right one, all three partners were bad? We also hear people advising wives to try and do more to hold their men. We also have instances where husbands had to swallow their pride and admit “causing” their partners’ infidelities. Well, it is possible they caused it, however, accepting guilt for a partners’indiscretions may not really help the cheating partner to take responsibility for their behaviours.
Even though I truly believe that each party in a relationship must do certain things to keep their partners happy, however, I do not believe that you can do anything to tame a discontented randy heart.
To be continued.
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