How "Packaging" Wrecks Relationships

Ever wonder why a man and woman who just few months back were gazing into each other’s eyes with so much admiration and deep feelings of emotional contentment will suddenly fall into despair and regrets over their marital choice? Here are some of the reasons marriage is seen as the best eye opener ever known to mankind.  In other words, we are highlighting those things that changing them will jeopardize the relationship, changing these things may be interpreted by your spouse as false advertisement, you showed him or her one brand proposal and what he or she gets happens to be something else.  Ouch.....this can hurt badly, no one like to be deceived.

Your level of Spirituality or religious/social convictions

Hey, if you did not come clean on what you truly are, there will be issues. Did you try to appear to be comfortable with regular life of the “joneses” when in actual fact you are supposed to be “spirikoko”? You are a tongue speaking Sister, but you played along with him doing the nightclub routines until he proposed? Or is it that you joined the Prayer Team or Choir to try and appear spiritual when in actual fact you don’t have the intention and capacity to operate at that level after marriage? Watch it, you may be advertising falsely and your spouse may not find it funny to have gotten a wrong product.

You were supposed to financially conservative

While some Ladies will make their intention to help the man spend his money very clear from the onset, some smart Ladies will enter the scene and capture the ring without presenting any serious financial challenge.  That is alright for any man, but trouble comes when she settles in and starts to submit bank breaking expenditure proposals.  It may be the guy who started out as a free spender, only to contract his level of generosity after the deed was done. Both ways, it will be seen as brand integrity issue.

From Miss Independent to “Mrs I need You every minute”

You have to know what kind of woman a man needs for a wife and be sure it is your type. Some of us guys will need a strong woman with a mind of her own who can  deal with issues when we are out there. If you know you are the type that wants your husband with you even while shopping for yam and beans, you may need to look for your man elsewhere.  Babe, it is not enough that the guy is an oil company worker, have you got what it takes to manage loneliness when he is offshore? Do you know you need grace to be a Pastor or even a banker’s wife? Is your man a smart upcoming consulting professional?  Please count the cost of future lonely days before you say I do.

Come to Me Babe, I will take care of you....

Guys, you knew all your strategies have failed, and you decided to play the big boy card, tell her she does not need to worry about anything in life the day she marries you. Are you kidding me? Hello, did I see your father’s name in the Forbes list of richest men in the world? If not, you and your deceived wife are on a “long thing”. First of all, you don’t even mean what you have told her, but trouble is, she doesn’t know. Hmn, I smell serious trouble the day she says she is tired of either working or looking for job.

You are so gentle that you cannot even hurt a fly

Are you really as gentle, tolerant, and forgiving as you are appearing to be before you tie the knots? I know people will take anything that their potential spouse throws at them, just to get the person to accept the proposal, but can you sustain that level of patience and endurance when you get in? If this sterling qualities were the selling point, failure to sustain them will spell crisis, don’t forget that your spouse had options, which also includes dealing upfront with the real you and deciding whether he or she can cope.

You appear to be the Modern day Romeo or Juliet

You epitomize romance and adventure, is this really you? Can you truly sustain this “ogbono feli feli” level of romantic dispositions?  We have heard married people saying they don’t like sex or too much sex (I don’t even know what that means anyway), you begin to wonder why they could not proceed to the convent instead of wasting everybody’s time getting into marriage.   If your pre-marital romantic escapades and gymnastics is just a project, then the fellow that falls for it will be so disappointed when the project is over.

Do you really mean you love his family members?

You said his mother is so cute and lovely, and you love everything about his family, are you serious?  Will you still say the same thing if the guy invites Mama over to stay for awhile? Guy, when you noticed that your wife has some close affinity with her younger sister, you should know two people will be moving into your house after the wedding.  It takes awhile for couples to walk around these family issues, some marriages are either destroyed or badly damaged in the process.

You were all so homely

You set out to be the perfect home girl, but within you, you can’t wait for the wedding to be over before you tell him how many housemaids and household gadgets you need. A smart guy who wants to save some money before the kids start arriving would have married the “home girl” version of you to achieve that purpose, how frustrated he will be to know that he has to get house helps and machines almost immediately.

 I have also heard about guys who pretended they don’t eat at home, always Chinese, Mexican and all the exotic spots in town, you will be making your new bride regret the day she met you when you suddenly demand for a freshly home-made bowl of egusi soup and pounded yam.

What is really your life ambition?

This is another area of crisis and disillusionment for newlyweds.  Some folks will wait until after their wedding to suddenly lose all aspirations and passion for career or business, or in some cases begin to make confusing choices. There are cases where women suddenly said they are tired of working after getting married; this is usually to the chagrin of their career women loving husbands.  Both men and women struggle with spouses who apparently have no desire to pursue any clear aspirations.

Meet the Superman or Woman

You will not believe that people go through courtship hiding their most vulnerable life struggles. They will rather lie to avoid being seen by their potential mates during these vulnerable moments.  None of us is made up of strengths only, we all have weaknesses and issues, it is one thing to avoid opening your entire baggage on the first date, it is another thing to move into matrimony with the dirt bag sealed; The rot may be too bad to handle after awhile if sealed for too long.

Well, not keeping brand promises is actually a serious marketing crime which can kill the product. It can be that bad. So if you are single, be careful about what you are advertising to your potential spouses, be careful not to over-promise and later under-deliver; and if you are married, remember the contents of your product proposals. Well, if your relationship has suffered brand damage or loss in market share due to these issues, don’t give up just yet, re-visit your strategies and set out to satisfy your spouse or negotiate where delivery is no longer feasible.