Some people have reasons to believe that marriage is over-rated.
This is simply because there are lots of marriages that are not maximizing the
benefits and potentials or just dysfunctional. This situation has made so many
singles conclude that marriage may not be a big deal after all.
What are those things that married people do that easily under-mine
the value of marriage, condemn the couples to long term unhappiness and give
singles reasons to despair?
Anger and Resentment
This has to top the list and often triggered by the
disappointment of waking up to the reality of human frailties your spouse may
be prone to. Anger and resentment steals the joy of marital relationship. My advice
here is this; you cannot harbour these negative feelings for the rest of your
life, reconcile with the facts, find the positives in your relationship and
enjoy life to the full. After all, no one out there is perfect and no one will
ever meet all your needs.
Finances
Money issues – my money or your money or our money or even
no money. Too much or too little of it, anyway you look at it, money or absence
of it is a potential spoiler in marriage if not well managed. Young couples
have peculiar challenges with finances, you have so many dreams and plans but
the resources are limited. Hey, be content, find joy where you are, give
yourselves a chance, focus on developing yourselves and growing together, you
will certainly get there.
Physical Intimacy
It is very easy for things to slow down in the bedroom,
especially if there are anger and financial issues somewhere. It may even be
the kids. This is a great error in marriage. Obviously, it takes emotional
balance to be intimate, and there are times the emotions are dry due to
challenges of everyday life. But why not be intimate first, you have nothing to
lose. You may have a different opinion; but
the fact is that a sexually active marriage definitely stands a better chance
irrespective of all other challenges. So you just need to work this out, you
must.
Prayer
Prayer of agreement is so effective, so it is a great loss
to live together and not generate power to accomplish your life mission through
praying together. I think praying together goes further to keep you in the
spirit and keep the atmosphere in the relationship sane and well regulated.
Extended Family
Not blending properly with the family on both sides has
marred so many marriages. This is a tricky subject considering the intrusive
nature of our parents even after we get married. It may take close to another
100 years for Africans to understand that marriage is between two people. Letting
your marriage slide into a Chelsea vs Arsenal situation is always a mistake.
Whatever happens, wherever you want to stand, please stand together as a couple
and enjoy the power of oneness.
Social outings
Couples who want to maximize their union must go places
together and should engage in mutually beneficial social activities. Don’t let
the stress of life squeeze fun out of your existence. Outings, events, date
nights, vacations and so on will certainly help you re-discover your lost
grounds in terms of quality time together.
If you are missing out on any of these, don’t worry, decide
to make a brand new start today and you will recover your lost marital benefits.
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