Friday, 18 December 2015

How couples forfeit marital benefits


 
Some people have reasons to believe that marriage is over-rated. This is simply because there are lots of marriages that are not maximizing the benefits and potentials or just dysfunctional. This situation has made so many singles conclude that marriage may not be a big deal after all.
What are those things that married people do that easily under-mine the value of marriage, condemn the couples to long term unhappiness and give singles reasons to despair?
Anger and Resentment
This has to top the list and often triggered by the disappointment of waking up to the reality of human frailties your spouse may be prone to. Anger and resentment steals the joy of marital relationship. My advice here is this; you cannot harbour these negative feelings for the rest of your life, reconcile with the facts, find the positives in your relationship and enjoy life to the full. After all, no one out there is perfect and no one will ever meet all your needs.
Finances
Money issues – my money or your money or our money or even no money. Too much or too little of it, anyway you look at it, money or absence of it is a potential spoiler in marriage if not well managed. Young couples have peculiar challenges with finances, you have so many dreams and plans but the resources are limited. Hey, be content, find joy where you are, give yourselves a chance, focus on developing yourselves and growing together, you will certainly get there.
Physical Intimacy
It is very easy for things to slow down in the bedroom, especially if there are anger and financial issues somewhere. It may even be the kids. This is a great error in marriage. Obviously, it takes emotional balance to be intimate, and there are times the emotions are dry due to challenges of everyday life. But why not be intimate first, you have nothing to lose.  You may have a different opinion; but the fact is that a sexually active marriage definitely stands a better chance irrespective of all other challenges. So you just need to work this out, you must.
Prayer
Prayer of agreement is so effective, so it is a great loss to live together and not generate power to accomplish your life mission through praying together. I think praying together goes further to keep you in the spirit and keep the atmosphere in the relationship sane and well regulated.
Extended Family
Not blending properly with the family on both sides has marred so many marriages. This is a tricky subject considering the intrusive nature of our parents even after we get married. It may take close to another 100 years for Africans to understand that marriage is between two people. Letting your marriage slide into a Chelsea vs Arsenal situation is always a mistake. Whatever happens, wherever you want to stand, please stand together as a couple and enjoy the power of oneness.
Social outings
Couples who want to maximize their union must go places together and should engage in mutually beneficial social activities. Don’t let the stress of life squeeze fun out of your existence. Outings, events, date nights, vacations and so on will certainly help you re-discover your lost grounds in terms of quality time together.
If you are missing out on any of these, don’t worry, decide to make a brand new start today and you will recover your lost marital benefits.

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